“Mommy Don’t Be Angry”

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photo credit @lifeofaministermom

She stood on her little stool in the bathroom, pieces of her curly hair bouncing across her forehead as she brushed her teeth. She paused and looked at me with with an earnest expression that comes from a state of deep contemplation. She opened her mouth and the conversation went as follows:

Alex: Mommy, why aren’t you my friend anymore?

Me: Where in the world did you get that idea from? I’m your mom, the first friend you’ve ever known. I love you very much.

Alex: Well, because you get angry at me. Yesterday you got angry at me. You can’t get angry at daddy, me, or Lily Girl. Friends are nice to each other. You have to be nice to us.

Mommy: We all get angry sometimes honey. That doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. Sometimes mama gets frustrated because you’re not a very good listener. But I love you very much OK?

Alex: Ok mama. But don’t get angry with me today. Just be kind OK?

Me: Ok, my love. I will do my best.

So that happened this week. Sure I can view it as my dear old threenager lecturing me because she didn’t get her way about something, and to a certain extent that’s true. But that ‘yesterday’s anger’ she referred to was very real. The night before this heart-to-heart took place, I distinctly remember getting so upset that I had clenched fists and angry eyes. I was furious and had to remove myself from the room just to keep it together.

The sad part is I don’t remember what caused this intense feeling to bubble up inside me. Unfortunately I feel as though it’s happened quite a bit lately as my daughter has tested my patience and I have responded extremely poorly. It hurts my heart to know that my smart, aware, and observant little girl absorbs such negativity from her own mother.

One of my favorite artist/authors is Ruth Chou Simons of http://gracelaced.com/ . She coined the Instagram hashtag #motherhoodissanctifying, and this was certainly one of those moments.

Why do I have so little patience towards those closest to me? Why do I have so little patience for my three-year-old child?! Is something really wrong with me?!

I recently shared these thoughts with a dear friend of mine, and bared my soul about the guilt I felt. I told her that I prayed and prayed, and sincerely tried my best to be a more patient parent.  I was downtrodden and discouraged because it seemed like progress was not being made at all, and I didn’t want this despicable side of me to be all my children would see. This individual is a wonderful and patient mama in my eyes, and the kind of woman and wife that I only strive to be like one day. So it certainly surprised me when she shared a few stories of having outbursts when her children were younger or losing her temper more times then she cared to admit.

During our talk she reminded me that I am seeing her now, and not the person she was then. She also reminded me that just because God doesn’t seem to answer a prayer immediately, doesn’t mean that we have been overlooked. “Patience is cultivated,” she said. “Patience is cultivated.”

       “But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking       

         nothing.”James 1:4 NKJV

These wise words from my friend preceded the conversation I had with my child by some weeks, so clearly I still have a long ways to go in the patience department! However, I am realizing more and more how important it is for me to lean on God and not my own understanding. I know I want there to be an immediate change, but sometimes there is a process to things that we don’t always want to face or admit.

I know there are going to be plenty more days where I feel like I screwed everything up as a mom, but then there’s grace.

Holy, freely-given, and gladly received grace. Grace I often forget to extend to myself, but it’s the same grace that I see my child give me, even when mama is very, very, very mad.

In the trenches? Back up against the wall? Tears streaming down your face? Take a deep breath mama bear and repeat after me: patience is cultivated!!

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photo credit @lifeofaministermom

BE BLESSED!!!

Patricia A. Taylor is the proud wife of an amazing godly man, and mama to two precious girls. After having her first child she realized that motherhood, like life, is a journey best shared with others! Her heart’s desire is to cultivate a down-to-earth and faith-filled space where real experiences are shared, and sincere encouragement is given. Visit www.lifeofaministermom.com and join her on this faith-filled adventure!

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Clogger- Blogger – Flogger

If you follow me on Instagram (@bbprep) you’re hip to my hashtags!

#flogger # clogger #faithblog # christianblog

But many still ask what is a flogger?  And if I’m a clogger, they never see me dancing in wooden shoes!!!! LOL

The term “flog” or “clog” for me refers to my faith or christian blog.  So I am both a FLOGGER and CLOGGER.  BBPREP is a lifestyle blog that focuses on…….life.  But a life that includes Christ.  For me being a Christian is a lifestyle, not just a cliche’. So I can’t talk about mascara without talking about God.  Or discuss planning without including Christ.

I live in the South and down here-we talk about being a Christian like we talk about sweet tea; ITS ALWAYS ON THE MENU! But it seems that over the years, we’ve lost what Christianity means.  Its now a tagline not a conviction.  We wear t shirts that say GOD OVER EVERYTHING but embarrassed to say our blessing over dinner, in a public restaurant.  My husband sums it up-“being a Christian should mean that you are in an intimate relationship with God, not just dating Him”.  So where did we loose our way? How did #Christianity become trendy and not classic…the next big thing and not the only thing?

I contend that it’s my fault.  I can’t blame society or the church with out blaming myself.  I can’t expect others to share Christ if I’m not bold enough to share Him.   So YES I AM A CLOGGER BLOGGER FLOGGER!

But most importantly a child of the King.  Romans 10:9-10 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Planner Joy!

For planner girls(or guys??) the hottest thing going is your actual PLANNER!  Whether you are a FiloFax Phenom, Condren Crazy, or Midori Maven, we love our planners!  Since we like to combine styles and function, ie the Kiki Condren or Kate Dori, naming all of them would be nearly impossible.  I’m a lifelong planner, but about 6 months ago I kicked it up a notch!  Using my beloved washi, duct tape, page flags, and post-it notes, weekly planning got REAL!  Real what?- really fun, really serious, really relaxing, really creative, really joyful.

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Looking at my current week (above), you see I have a lot going on.  Between being a wife, mom, educator, entrepreneur……it’s madness!  So writing things down is a must.  I’m a list gal, post-it note freak!  Visual reminder must haves!  So what makes me happy, what gives me planner joy?!- viewing my to-do list  and appointments on well decorated pages.  AHHHHHHH! I feel calm just thinking about it!  We all love it. Our instagam accounts can attest to that!  Hashtags like, #weeklyplan, #planwithme, #plannerglam, # plannerlove, #poshplanner, #plannerlife, followed by the “pic of the day”, all testify that connecting with others who share your weird addition is the icing on the cake, a feeling of great pleasure and happiness-joy!

Daily, when I reach for my planner, not only am I reminded of what’s ahead for the week, I’m reminded of Romans 15:13-“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Our lives can be full of lists, to-do’s, reminders, appointments, and a bunch of nonsense!  But God desires to fill it with hope, joy, and peace as we trust him.  Trust him daily with your stuff, and watch him plan the best day ever.

So forge ahead my planner addicts, creating those daily works of art!

Wishing you planner joy.

-bbprep ❤

#GodChallenge

Chug a spoonful of cinnamon in 60 seconds, spin violently and try to perform a task while dizzy, dunk your entire body in cold water for hours, the list unfortunately goes on and on.

Internet challenges: the new happy hour, loved by many, successfully completed by few.  Not to mention the health risks, these things can go bad…QUICKLY!  Only the brave at heart (or utterly stupid) participate and post.  Hashtags inundate our timelines, news feeds and dashboards.  Its not just viral, its contagious!

The verb form of  “challenge” -to invite, to engage, in a contest or task, shows there must be one who gives the challenge and one who accepts.

King Hezekiah was a sickly man who one day was given an awful report.  He was told by the prophet Isaiah to set his affairs in order, because he was going to die.  He would not recover from his illness.  Hezekiah was devastated by this word but he turned to God in prayer.  He challenged; invited, engaged, God to remember that he was a faithful man who had served God with his whole heart.  He wanted Him to remember that he walked in truth, which pleased God.  After this Hezekiah continued to weep, the bible says he “wept bitterly” (2 Kings 20:3)  Before Isaiah could leave the King’s courtyard, God commanded him to return to Hezekiah and say This is what the Lord, the God of your ancestor David, says: I have heard your prayer and have seen your tears. So now I’m going to heal you. Three days from now you will be able to go up to the Lord’s temple.  I will add fifteen years to your life. I will rescue you and this city from the power of the Assyrian king.” (2 Kings 20:5-6)

It would appear that God accepted Hezekiah’s challenge, since He extended his life.  Hezekiah invited God to remember his good deeds toward Him.  He wanted God to remember that he was His servant.  Let’s take the #GodChallenge.  When faced with adversity, strife, sickness, or doubt, let’s challenge God to remember that we are holy people, who serve him with our whole heart.  He is our beginning and our end.  Without him, we’re useless.

Challenge God to REMEMBER who you are!

#GodChallenge

-bbprep ❤